Thursday, August 28, 2008

Observations from a college town

Greetings ET's:

Okay, so this blogging thing I do is probably in need of life support. Hey, I've been busy, so fuck off.

Yesterday was the day when all the dorm residents here at IU come streaming back into town. Like the swallows in Capistrano, in a single day the city of Bloomington transforms from a quiet, sleepy, Midwestern town to a city swarming with all the energy and rambunctiousness of an academic hotbed. So here's a random list of things I've observed on my daily treks about town:

1. I don't care where you're from or how old you are, you should never tuck your shirt into your shorts.

2. Any sport that requires you to wear spandex should be banned.

3. Dude, how much did your mom pay for that cleavage.

4. I hate to tell you this mister, but your daughter's going to a kegger tonight and will probably engage in promiscuous sex by the time you hit the interstate.

5. That poster you bought of Van Gogh's "Sunflower" doesn't qualify as art.

6. You're going the wrong way on a one-way street.

7. Stop signs generally mean you should stop.

8. MacDonald's doesn't count as "eating out".

9. You still drive a Denali?

10. Thanks a lot for taking my parking space.

Hee Haw

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